In order to help others, it is important to firstly help yourself and therefore looking after number one is so important to being a positive people. However while people may believe being selfish is natural and easy thing to be, for some people it can be extremely hard and to be constructively selfish can take years to learn.
I always found it far easier to help others rather than helping myself and say no to people is not as easy as people think especially when you know you can help them. But to support other people properly, you need to be physically, emotionally and financially whole as looking after yourself is so important.
It took me years to look after number one and I know people who do not know me really do not get what I appear to be ‘selfish’ in a way it is often not accepted by society by disabled people. But I learnt from bitter experience that the only person who will really look after me is me and therefore if I do not do it myself, no one is going to step in and rescue me.