Supporting Parents to let go


As every child grows and matures into a young adult, it is important that they have the opportunity to develop as a person in their own right, separate from their parents. It can be hard for parents to let go, but it can be even harder when it is a disabled child. 


Whether a child is disabled or not, the level of worry and concern from parents may be the same but they are seen as different. Society would find it strange if a parent was over-protective of a child who is actually 25, 30, 35 or even 40, but if the child is disabled, it seems more acceptable. It is assumed that a disabled child or rather adult is naturally more vulnerable and needy.


But I would argue that the reason they could be vulnerable or needy is because they have been over-protected and that they have not had the opportunity to learn from their own mistakes. With the right support in the right way, every child should have the opportunity to break free from their parents.


And on this basis, it is important parents are supported to let go and support their children as adults. Society can make it very easy for parents to feel they do not need to let go and I feel it is mostly always in the best interested for them to let go. 


If a disabled child/adult requires personal support, it is important that this is arranged in a manner which does not need the full time involvement of parents before the parents reach an age where they need support themselves. This therefore means the parents can have an involvement and be reassured, rather then it being left to just professionals.


I hope over time, parents will feel supported to let go of their disabled children in the same way as other children and it will be a part of having more enabled disabled young people.

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